I remember the first Valentine present that I received from a boy. He gave me a rose that had undoubtedly been pilfered from the flowers his mother received that morning. It was half crushed and leaning precariously from a bend in its stem. But it was the first flower I’d ever received, and it touched my heart. He told me I was pretty and that he wanted to “go out” with me before leaning in for a kiss right on the lips. I knew right then and there that I was in love and one day I would marry Timmy Arden.

Then as it so often is with young love, he dashed off to school and didn’t say another word to me until he pulled my hair and chased me around the playground during recess. If only it was as simple now as it was when I was ten.

Over the years I’ve gotten a variety of Valentine’s Day gifts, everything from diamonds to a Zippo lighter. Ironically both were received with the same amount of enthusiasm during the different stages of my life in which they were given.

The most memorable was a young man who presented me with a Claddagh ring and promised to love and cherish me until death did us part. Unfortunately, death came for the young man, and I still wear the ring with a wistful fondness of what might have been.

Oh, and let us not forget the creepy guy who brought a bouquet of flowers and instead of a vase, he wanted me to put them somewhere a little more, shall we say, personal. He didn’t get V-Day sex. Or any other sex from me again. (Is it just me who notices that Valentine’s Day and Venereal Disease share common initials? IJS.)

This year, I have completely different plans. I’m a bit out of my element, because this time I’ll be the one presenting the gift and flowers. I’m terribly nervous, and think I might finally have an inkling of what it is to be a man in this situation.

Remember Bryanne from my Superbowl Party? She and I have a date for Valentine’s Day. While she wasn’t the first woman I’d had sex with, she is the first woman I’ve actually asked out on a date. Because I email my post to A & M on Thursday, this week I won’t actually be able to post how the date went until next week. So I apologize for the lack of sexual content in this particular post, but if things go as planned there will be plenty for next week.

Until then, may all of you get what you deserve this Valentine’s Day!

-Hannah

P.S. When this blog was in its early days, I impulsively offered my services to A & M to help out with the daily posting by doing a weekly column. I honestly never expected that they would actually say yes. I’ve been a little intimidated, but have been enjoying the challenge. I want to thank all of you who’ve commented on these posts and your kind words. They mean more than you can know, even though, there’s now this huge pressure to “out-do” each one of my previous posts. But, as I’m sure you can all guess, I do like working under pressure (wink)! So again, thank you.