In this day and age, a relationship can often be traced entirely by the electronic footprint it leaves. Holy crap, did I just use the phrase ‘in this day and age?’ What am I, 70?

This is a conversation M and I had early on. So early, in fact, that my ex wasn’t quite aware that I was preparing to divorce him. Let’s try and ignore my harlotry here, please. Please?

A: I talked to him yesterday. I asked, “What did you do last night?”.
He said he went out with “so and so…”
Me- Did you have fun?
Him-Yeaaaaaah. (hesitantly)
Me- Oh, so … What does that mean? You got drunk?
Him- I only drank what people bought me.
In his eyes… that makes it okay

M: If that’s all I’m drinking, I’d go to a gay bar. But that’s beside the point. Having never been to rehab, isn’t the goal for him to completely stop?

A: Yes, that was the point, but he says drinking was never his problem. It was drugs. So, he gives himself permission to drink.

M: Do you think he’s in love with you?

A: He isn’t in love with me.

M: What does he think is going to happen here?

A: He asked me if I was mad at him. I said, “Honestly, I really don’t care anymore.” He asked what that was supposed to mean. I said, “Figure it out yourself.” Now he is calling leaving like 10 msgs on my voicemail.

A: I have asked him to go to therapy. I have asked him to do things to show me that things could be different and it was pointless to ask. He really doesn’t want to fix it either. Regardless of if he did; you can’t fix not being in love with someone.

M: No, that’s true.
M: I don’t know what to say. I can’t say anything.

A: I know. Lets not talk about this.

M: Ok.

A: Jism.

And there you have it. The end of one relationship sharing bookend duty with the beginning of another. Looking back at this, and for that matter, looking at today, I’m struck by just how much we laugh together. No matter how inappropriate the joke or situation, we will see the humor in it. It’s easy to say it now, but I can honestly see us in our wheelchairs, cracking each other up and going into great detail about our sponge baths.

I’m in no hurry, but I also can’t wait.