Today was D-Day. It took all of five minutes to put an end to almost seven years of marriage. My attorney and I walked into the Judges chambers, and while they chatted about a seminar they had recently attended, his honor signed three copies of the final decree. When he was finished, he smiled, stood up, and ended the marriage with “Congratulations and Merry Christmas. You are divorced.”

And so begins another chapter. Today is a day I have been looking forward to for a long while. This isn’t the end of one life and the start of another. It’s more of a transition. I’m moving forward, growing, and have so many new adventures to look forward to. I took my maiden name again so tonight, M will finally get his shot at that “little (insert maiden name here) girl” he knew in high school. That’s right; we’re delayed high school sweethearts. We were in the choir together.

M: So tonight’s like a special occasion, huh?
A: well yeah!
M: Cool. I wanna lick your ass. It’ll be a new tradition!
A: So, what then? Every time I get divorced you are going to lick my ass? Is that how the new tradition will work?
M: That and/or Christmas. Or whenever else you’ll let me.
A: Celebrate Christmas the night before trash day and end it with and ass licking bang!
M: That’s pretty much exactly what I had in mind. I want to put my tongue in your ass and hum Christmas carols.
A: Gayly they ring while people sing songs of good cheer CHRISTMAS IS HERE!
M: ding DONG, ding DO-ONG…
A: heh
A: It’s ok. Tonight you get to fuck the little soprano with the big eyes.
M: And Ima lick her ass.

It’s all about the ass with this guy.