It had been a few months since my arrival back home in Texas. The rooms of my home were still cluttered with cardboard boxes full of memories. With M’s help, I began to purge the mess. We could have been an episode of one of the HGTV shows when he uncovered a little piece of treasure in my trash, or maybe trash in my treasure. He lifted the white plastic gadget from the box, turned it on, and with a smile as wide as Texas exclaimed “I found your vibrator!”

A: Yeah, turn it over, it says Neutrogena! They cornered the skincare market and moved on to sex toys!
M: You totally buzz your clit with this thing.
A: No I don’t. It’s for scrubbing my face. There’s this sandpaper that goes on it. I’ve never buzzed my clit with anything.
M: You liar, I know you buzz your clit with this.
A: I’m not lying! My finger works great. I’ve never used a vibrator of any kind.
M: You’ve never even put your phone on vibrate and put it on your clit?
A: (laughing) No, never.

Still grinning, he slipped the exfoliator into his pocket.

M: I am going to buzz your clit with this.
A: Sure, ok.

A few nights later we were in the middle of doing that thing we like to call hompin’ when he sat up on his knees from the missionary position and with his cock still inside me, stopped for a moment. I began to wonder what he was doing when all of a sudden I felt something cold touch my clit, and “OH! Jesus FUCKING Christ!” That’s what he was doing! A few short moments later, my eyes rolled back in my head, my legs started to shake, and I gained a newfound appreciation for the wonders of mechanical engineering.

Thank you Neutrogena. You took my battery powered virginity and I will forever be grateful.

I just hope he gives me a little more warning when he surprises me with the bunny tail butt plug he keeps eyeballing.